Nezrul Hisyam Abdul Ghani asked:

Teenagers are characterized by few prominent qualities such as energetic, passionate, and curious. It is pitiful to see them bogged down by low self esteem thus limiting their ability to express those qualities. For certain cases, expressing those qualities are seen as rebellious, harsh, and inconsiderate. No doubt about that. But that is a different story.

We are more interested to address the issue of low self esteem because of the potential damages it could cause, specifically to teenagers, and society at large.

If a teenager suffer inner-imbalance, which often manifest by restlessness, obsessive behaviors; not accepting him or herself, and lost self respect, often time, the damages to self esteem are cumulative, and one fine day, if they become unbearable, the whole suppressed emotions just erupt like Krakatoa. But all these are avoidable.

Here are 3 simple steps teenagers can take to beat low self esteem.

Step 1: Get to the bottom of it.

Low self esteem has it root somewhere. Based on many proven Psychological research, most of the time it can be traced back to childhood, which is just a few years before teen age. And because everything seems like yesterday, identifying and then isolating the prime cause is crucial. There could be hundreds of causes for low self esteem but which one is the main culprit?

This is done based on a simple fact that when the big issue is solved, the smaller one is indirectly solved. It is as simple as that. And this paves the way to…

Step 2: Isolate and take appropriate action.

When this article was written, I imagined a teenager read it. As a teenager, I realized that technical jargon, formality, and concepts steer them away. And I want to avoid that. So, for step number two, after talking to a few teens friend of mine, I decided to include this step.

It is easier just to refer to an authority figure right after you got Step 1 figured out but knowing the spirit of teenagers, I know they want to everything on their own first. After they done trying and stuck, then and only then, they will ask for help.

I agree with their action but not fully agree. I will save the argument for later but for now, for the majority of independent teen spirits, do these:

* Isolate the prime suspect from Step 1.
* Put it under intense interrogation. You do the questioning. See whether it is the real culprit.
* Decide on action plan and just execute it. Erase the memory, seek different experience to offset the low self esteem ‘inducing’ experience, or simply go to Step 3

Step 3: Set up your support system.

Now, support system, at your level, must include these groups of people because no group can be everywhere all the time. But you need constant, never ending support because those painful low self esteem triggers might be lurking just around the corner. And that means anywhere, anytime.

So here they are:

* Parents. I know. They could be the main culprit for your low self esteem. If that is the case, find figures who can take the role of your biological parents. Many successful cases showed that working with non-biological related figures had higher success rate. Give it a shot.
* Siblings. Same goes with this group. Parents and siblings are important to support you when you are at home. If you do not go to boarding school that is because at boarding school, the next group of people are more important, and they are your…
* Peers. And they are important even if you do not go to boarding school. You are most likely to spend more time with them compared to other group so make sure they support your low self esteem beating effort. And in school, there is another important group…
* Teachers/Counselors. But bear in mind, for this particular group, their effort could be easily diluted due to other commitment. They make an important part of your guide and support but do not depend on them entirely. And without leaving the most important part of your support system (I save the best for last)…
* YOU. Yes, you! Out of all people who should take the biggest responsibility to beat low self esteem, I would say, you are that person. Don’t take it too hard. You can easily achieved this by using simple reminder system for example notes in your wallet or purse, notes on your desktop or laptop, and maybe a simple recorded messages on your hand phone.

Remember, it is not,” If I can I will” but it should read,” If I WILL, I can!”

If you will just take the first step to beat low self esteem by identifying the main culprit…

If you will just take the second step to isolate and plan your action to beat low self esteem…

If you will just take the third step to set your support system…

You CAN beat low self esteem. Yes, YOU can.

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