Life from the Heart

Life from the Heart

Browsing Posts in Self Improvement


Wambui Bahati: how toxic are we? 

One surefire way to maintain a low level of self-esteem is to continue to associate with toxic people. So what are toxic people? They are the people that are poison to our lives and our environment. They drain us of our energy, our time, our money, and they can also play havoc with our minds. Toxic people can literally make you physically or mentally ill.

Take a good look at the people around you: family, friends, bosses, co-workers, and anyone else who you interact with everyday. Do you find the people in your life encouraging, supportive, and uplifting, or are they a drain? How do you feel when you’re around the people in your life? If certain people make you feel bad, unattractive, or depressed, they are toxic to you.

You see, sometimes we feel bad and suffer from low self-esteem because we have surrounded ourselves with people who, consciously or unconsciously, have found a way to make us feel bad about ourselves. I believe that the most blatant example of this is a relationship with domestic violence. A woman or man most likely enters an abusive relationship because they have already had some issues with their self-esteem. However, once in the relationship, they must deal with someone who knows all the right psychological buttons to push in order to make them feel continuously bad about themselves.

In these relationships, it gets to the point where the victim starts to feel that being physically and mentally abused is somehow acceptable or deserved. They can even believe that it is often their own fault that the abuse takes place. Therefore, they stay in a relationship where they are abused, and their self-worth continues to dwindle.

More of us than would like to admit are in abusive relationships. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical or overt. Anybody who makes you feel lesser, unhappy about who you are, or unworthy is not someone you should entertain in your circle of friends.

Take a long hard look at the people who you associate with everyday. Many times, our relatives are the ones who make us feel bad and rob us of our energy and feelings of self-worth. So, step back and really look at the people in your life. Instead of asking, “what is the matter with me?” you need to ask, “who is the matter with me?”

Try to associate with people who are going to make you feel good about yourself; people who are empowering and are really on your side are not going to make you feel bad about yourself. They want you to feel good. Try to hang out with people who emit positivity. If you don’t have anyone who makes you feel good right now, then gradually draw yourself away from the people who are making you feel bad and enjoy some alone time while you find techniques, tools, classes, and ways of thinking that will improve your self-esteem.

As you start to feel better about yourself, you’re going to naturally attract people who feel better about themselves; it’s a win-win situation. You will also learn that you – and only you – hold the key to how you feel about yourself.

When trying to figure out why you may have low self-esteem, be sure to take a close look at the people in your life.

Deep Voice Mastery – Untapped Niche


Gabe H asked:

Confidence

Confidence is a concept that is considered to be ‘the’ characteristic that women are attracted to. In fact, if you go up to any random women and ask her what she looks for in a guy, you can almost be positive that CONFIDENCE will be in her answer

So what is confidence?

Confidence is the belief that success is achievable and within arm length. Everyone has confidence to some degree in their lives. Most people are confident driving a car or reading a book. The problem is, a lot of the times confidence is context based and never fully transmuted to other parts of your life including attracting women. The good news is, confidence is NOT a personality trait. It’s an attitude that can be learned.

Here are six steps to build confidence:

1. Identify core values

The first step in becoming confident is realizing your core values. Doing so will manifest a congruent identity that is aligned with how you live your life. And a man who knows exactly what he wants from himself and others is a confident man. The quickest way to recognize what you value in life to ask yourself some specific questions. The trick is not think about an answer. Just take into account the first few thoughts that pop into your head. Your intuition often knows best. Here are 3 questions you can ask yourself that will hopefully shine some light on your core values.
“What is are the things in life that make me happy?”
“What are the things in life that I am best at?”
“If I was forced to live by one ethic alone, what would it be?”

Your answers to these questions will generally provide a road map to a confident, decisive belief system.

2. Set goals

Another good way to become confident is to set small goals that can be achieved during the day. Most people equate goals to feats that are near unachievable. It’s good to set some long term goals but it’s also good to set goals that you can achieve right now. The crazy thing is you can turn basically any remedial task and turn it into a goal. For example, on one occasion I set a goal to run 3 miles. I achieved my goal and took a split moment to celebrate. The same day I set a goal to say hello to three people I had never met. I achieved my goal and basked in glory briefly. Later in the day I set a goal to go grocery shopping. I achieved my goal and by this time, I was confident I could pretty much do anything. What I realized is that after you’ve completed consecutive goals, your mind will start to associate what you do with success. It begins to transmute into other facets of your life. So if you want a real easy way to gain to gain confidence, set mini goals and achieve them throughout the day.

3. Externalize Success and Accomplishments

Another way to become confident is to write down everything you know you are good at. It doesn’t have to be anything unique or profound. It can be as simple as “I am a good driver!” If you take into account much of the daily things you do and have done, your mind will begin to realize how competent you actually are. If you want to take this one step farther, you can write down all of your accomplishments.

4. Affirmations

Another way to create confidence is to practice saying affirmations to yourself. Because the unconscious mind cannot distinguish between the real world and the mental realm, many of the affirmations will slip past your consciousness into a place where they become real beliefs even if you have never had any success in that particular area. Note: In creating affirmations, it is extremely important to always keep them positive. Your unconscious mind does not hear positives or negatives. It simply hears commands. So if you were to say to yourself “I’m not a loser!” your subconscious mind will still hear “I’m” and “loser.” Here is a set of affirmations I’ve used in the past that helped me become more confident.

I am blessed

I am attractive

I can attract beautiful women

I am confident

I am in control of my life

I know what I want

I know how to get what I want

I am successful

I am loved by others

I love myself

I am capable of anything

I am interesting

I am intelligent

Say these over and over again to yourself.

And these are just a few. Create your own that cater to specific things in your life that you don’t feel confident about. Also, it is important to keep doing them as long you need to. Confidence doesn’t happen over night. If you want to expedite the process, you can print a few affirmations out in large lettering and tape them to your ceiling or mirrors or any other place where you will see them every day. They don’t even have to be long affirmations. You could even do something like “YES, YOU CAN!” There are also a variety of NLP hypnosis audio tracks that you can listen to before you go to bed that will guide you to a more confident reality.

5. Gain Competence

Competence and success will also fuel your confidence. In terms of meeting women, competence will come with studying Attractology and using the theories, techniques and routines we provide on the site. In fact, the only purpose of routines is to get success under your belt so you can become more confident with women. In reality, if you want the deeply embedded belief that you can attract women, you will need to be absolutely positive that you have that ability. To be absolutely positive, you will need some success under your belt. Check out our outer game section to see some ways to get some initial success that will further boost your confidence.

6. Communities

Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is very important in gaining and sustaining confidence. If you surround yourself with people who constantly belittle you and try to take value from you, it can be very difficult to sustain confidence. Eagles soar with other eagles for a reason and you too need to surround yourself with people who will support your personal growth and accept you for who you are. In terms of creating a stronger social net, find people with common interests and become part of a group/s. Some examples of social groups are work friends, classmates, teammates, club members, etc. There are even groups for guys who want to learn how to meet women called lairs. They are great as well for building confidence.

Growingupamish.com

Rupal Jain asked:

Booker T. Washington once said, “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles overcome, while trying to succeed.” The reason why you want to do something is MOTIVATION. It is an eagerness and willingness to do something without needing to be told or forced to do it.” It encourages, inspires and develops a sense of Pride, Better Outlook and Build’s Self Esteem which is critical to the productivity at workplace.

According to Dr. Shilpa Moonot – Clinical Neuro Rehabilitation (London), “To build a high Motivation within yourself determine your greatest Motivator- Is it Money, Incentives, Bonus, Commission, Fame, Recognition which are External and Monetary benefits or Non-Financial Motivators like Pride, Sense of Achievement, Responsibility, Belief, Challenging and Interesting job, Respect which are Internal. The most powerful Motivation however comes from within, keep Smiling, be Enthusiastic, Cheerful and Considerate; it’s Contagious she added; to boost your self-confidence think win-win and not lose-lose.

Sir Winston Churchill has rightly said, “Kite rise highest against the wind not with it.” Failures and bouncing back are elements of Motivation. Failure is a Learning Tool that builds Confidence. People with high self-confidence typically have little fear of unknown, are able to stand up for what they believe in and have the courage to risk embracement. Sri Chinmoy, believes, “Your confidence-heart need not be the result of your yesterday’s success. Your confidence-heart can easily be the result of your implicit faith in tomorrow’s most beautiful dawn.” A man with Motivation shall not lose; only doubt will bring defeat.

Dictionary is the only place where Success comes before Work. Hard Work is the Price we must pay for Success. We can accomplish anything if we are willing to pay the Price. If you’re demotivated it shows in your work, the way you manage customers, superiors and subordinates, which creates an unproductive, inefficient and pessimist environment. Encourage an environment where everyone encourages everyone else. Develop Trust, Respect, Constructive Criticisms and an Open Channel of upward and downward Communication. Associate yourself with high motivators to be one.

Finally enjoy yourself and find areas of interest at your workplace. Have a clear short and long term goals. Be sober, kind, reliable and responsive; know exactly what’s expected from you and always meet your deadlines. As Richard Bach said, “The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” Finally remember the MOTIVATIONAL thoughts of Bessie Stanley on Success at Workplace,

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of junior;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a

Healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier

Because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Caffeinated Content – Members-Only Content for WordPress

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes